Separation raises practical questions long before it raises legal ones. Housing, children, money and daily routine all need an answer. Writing the questions down, in order, makes the first meeting with counsel much more useful.

Start with what is urgent

Some matters cannot wait: where each person will live, who will care for the children in the coming weeks and how bills will be paid. Raise these first, then move to questions that can be decided over time.

Gather the financial picture

Counsel will need an honest view of income, debts, property and ongoing commitments. You do not need perfect records; a clear list and copies of the main documents are enough to begin.

• Salary slips, business income and other regular payments.

• Bank, savings and investment statements.

• Property documents, loans, mortgages and credit cards.

• Insurance and pension details.

• The family's regular monthly expenses.

Think about the children

Children usually do best with stable routines and calm adults. Consider schooling, health care and time with each parent, and keep your own account of arrangements that already work.

Questions for the first meeting

• Which decisions can we make together, and which need a formal order?

• How are temporary arrangements recorded?

• Is mediation suitable in our situation?

• What are the likely stages and costs?

Take care with communication

Messages can be read later by others. Keep them short, respectful and about practical matters. Avoid posting about the separation online.

Look after yourself

A separation is a personal event as well as a legal one. Support from family, friends or a counsellor helps you make steadier decisions. This sample article gives general information and does not describe the family law of a particular jurisdiction.